I got some good news today: I am officially bringing my one-woman show, Will Shea, Won’t Shea? to the Edinburgh Fringe in Scotland!!!!!!!!!!!
I have always wanted to put on a show like this, and I have always wanted to perform at the Edinburgh Fringe. Basically, I am in the crazy position of my dreams coming true.
This has been falling into place over the course of the last few weeks, but I finally let myself celebrate this morning, when the contract was signed and the initial deposit was paid. I let myself send the all-caps, my-dreams-are-coming true texts and let myself receive the all-caps, we-knew-they-would replies. I bought myself a celebratory croissant (and immediately regretted in when I remembered I was wearing black pants).
It felt for a second like I wouldn’t get this celebration, even if the news was good. There were, and are, just too many moving parts. I think I thought one of my dreams coming true would come in one big moment. Like I get one magic phone call and everything changes. Really, it came via multiple boring emails about logistics and payment plans.
There are so many steps between me and opening night I wonder if it won’t really feel real until I’m literally on the stage. I have to rehearse. I have to write new revisions. I have to do previews of the show in London (please come!). I have to raise a lot of money to do things like pay the rest of the venue deposits. I have to find a place to live in August. I have to figure out how you get like, important people to come to your show and give you what you’ve always dreamed of (a groundbreaking gay miniseries on like hulu or something). I also have to like, live my life.
It might seem kind of silly, especially to any Brits reading this, to have Edinburgh Fringe feel like my big break. Any ole guy with a ukulele and blind confidence can find a stage at Fringe if they really want to. But this represents a lot to me. I’m going with a show I really feel proud of (and without a ukulele… but all respect to my ukulele-toting brethren). I remember reading about Edinburgh Fringe in high school and dreaming of somehow living a life that brought me there. And getting to perform there feels like a product of living my life how I want to. I moved to a city I wanted to live in. I made friends who took me to do fun things like checking out the Edinburgh Fringe last summer, which is what made performing there feel like a real possibility to me. I saw shows in London and took classes where I met the lovely people helping me put this show on. I’ve been taking care of myself enough to have the creative energy to write my silly little show.
While writing this, I inexplicably went on the most cursed website, Facebook.com. It alerted me that exactly 9 years ago today I committed to going to UNC-Chapel Hill. It’s a day for big commitments on my part, I guess. Going to UNC gave me some of my best friends and gave me North Carolina as a home. But in that moment, it also gave me a lot of uncertainty. A lot stood between me and my first day. Finding a place to live, figuring out financial aid, learning what a tarheel was (still unclear). More than that, I had four years ahead of me full of complete unknowns. I couldn’t possibly know exactly how I was going to get to the finish line. And still, I celebrated.
Maybe there’s no big moment that feels like the moment. Maybe I just get to pick when I celebrate. Maybe I get to have a bunch of little moments and a bunch of celebratory croissants (and panicked croissants, and “I should probably save this money for Fringe instead of buying a croissant” croissants).
And so, I pick today to celebrate! I’m proud of myself!!! I’m so excited!!! I feel like I’m going to throw up at any minute!!! I hope you have a little celebration of something soon, croissant and all.
I would be remiss to not end this with a donation plea. If you have anything to spare, it would mean the absolute WORLD to me if you could donate. And thank you to the many readers of this newsletter who have already donated - because of you I was able to put down my registration fee!
Other ways you can help:
Become a paid subscriber to this newsletter! You get access to the monthly pay walled post and the knowledge that you’re supporting my Sainsbury’s hard boiled egg habit.
Come see the previews if you’re in London! July 6-8 at the Glitch Waterloo!
Come see the show in Edinburgh! July 31-August 25 at C venues (!!!!!)
Share!! I know times are tough and you may not have any money to spare, so it could really help me out if you could share the Crowdfunder link. Posting on your socials, as well as directly texting people you think that might be willing to donate, would really be so helpful.
And as always, go heels.
*4/27/24 edit: I switched to a new crowdfunding platform that has lower fees. I have updated the links on this page.